By Makenna Poucket
In the early 2000s, Valentine’s Day was a time for romantic gestures, fancy dinner dates and rom-coms. Romance as a movie trope took off, as did notorious “it” couples in the media, pushing the expectation for women to find their “Mr. Right”: A Ryan Gosling type with blonde hair, blue eyes and a toned physique. Even superhero movies had integral storylines of male leads saving their female counterparts in action-disguised love stories.
Female lead characters in 2000s romantic comedies of television and film were often seen defying their better judgement to return to “traditional” gender roles and stereotypes. Carrie Bradshaw, female lead of “Sex and the City”, a witty writer and friend to many other intelligent, confident women was always betraying her values for a mediocre, borderline emotionally abusive relationship with Mr. Big.
In similar fashion, “The Notebook” portrayed Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams’ on-screen characters as “soulmates” when their relationship was, omitting the ending, two hours of toxicity and instability. No matter how multifaceted these female characters were, their hand was always forced by male screenwriters, producers and directors to return to the damsel.
This representation of female characters causes problems, especially when audiences of rom-coms typically include young women. Women giving up their careers, friends, hobbies and dignity for a relationship sets a negative precedent for what women should prioritize in the early stages of their lives.
Disappointingly, rom-coms typically display heteronormative relationships and often exclude people of color. Popular rom-coms like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, “The Proposal” and “50 First Dates” all star the up-and-coming, conventionally attractive and white actors of that year. With POC and the LGBTQ+ community pushed to the side, the films’ depiction of the “it” couple convinces the public that true romance looks a certain way.
In today’s media, “damsels in distress”, male-oriented female characters and heteronormative couples are still prevalent in rom-coms. However, many celebrities have denounced this ideology, saying that common stereotypes for characters in rom-coms are typically revealed to be untrue, or much more complicated in the real world.
Although it is still not at an equal volume, space has been made for media outside of white, heteronormative relationships that were once the set standard. “Love, Simon” shocked the system of the rom-com sphere in 2018 with an LGBTQ+ love story, opening the door for all types of relationships to be portrayed in the style of its heteronormative predecessors.
This Valentine’s Day, people may be hesitant to grab that outdated rom-com off of the shelf, not wanting to consume a “one-size-fits-all” view of relationships. Romantic gestures can still be had, fancy dinners can be attended and folks can make their own rom-coms, defining what a relationship looks like by their own standards without the media’s portrayal devaluing it.
Sorry, Gosling, it’s over between us.
Makenna Poucket is a junior studying professional and public writing. In her free time, she loves editing her friends’ papers and being with her roommates.